Now I’m looking for a few coaches who want to make rapid progress through a group coaching series this fall. Will you be one of them? Details here.

There are still 3 more spots in the Aug 24 noontime Group Coaching for Coaches sample session. You can join either by phone or Skype and have a very inspiring and productive lunchtime. See below.

Group Coaching Telephone/Skype Sample Session
When: Aug 24, 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm
Where: On a telephone conference line (US long distance call rates may apply) or by Skype

HK$800

This 6 session series is for new coaches who want the kind of  support that can help them build their skills and practices quickly and effectively. I’ve sharpened my pencil so that prices are 30% of normal coaching rates!

Once you’ve received your coach training, this is one of the best investments you can make towards becoming a masterful and successful coach.

From some July participants:

Angela’s group coaching session offered a very different and eye-opening insight into the coaching experience. The approach certainly allowed me to better understand different interactions between coach and coachee. –Godfrey Oyeniran

We learned about coaching skills in practice, and not only that, we also gained an expanded vision by listening to others’ issues and how each participant comes up with their own realization.  The process is most inspiring. –Pandora Woo

This was an informative and inspiring session.   It was a safe, comfortable environment where I felt confident is sharing. I gained my own valuable insights from being coached, but also from watching Angela coach the others in our group.   As a coach myself it is a rare and valuable treat to be able to observe another coach in action.   I picked up tips about how to coach, how to respond and questions to ask.  –Carole Lewis

Make a commitment to your coaching practice with a Group Coaching Series:

You’ll get six 90-minute group coaching sessions with between 3 and 5 participants, your peers who are also developing their coaching skills and businesses. Each participant will receive individual coaching from Angela while other group members witness masterful coaching. With group agreement, we may also practice coaching with feedback, have longer individual coaching sessions, group brainstorming etc.

This means all the benefits of coaching plus an excellent means to improve your own coaching ability by modeling real coaching in action. Read on here for more information on why this program works.

In-person Evening Series

When: 6:00 to 7:30pm, on six weekdays starting Sept. 7, 2010
(exact dates to be agreed by the group)
Where: A meeting room in Central, Hong Kong
Price: 4 monthly installments of HK$1840 (Total HK$7360)

HK$1840/month for 4 months

In-person Lunchtime Series

When: 12:30 to 2pm on six weekdays starting Sept. 8, 2010
(exact dates to be agreed by the group)
Where: A meeting room in Central, Hong Kong
Price: 4 monthly installments of HK$1840 (Total HK$7360)

HK$1840/month for 4 months

Telephone or Skype Series

When: 11:30 to 1pm, two Mondays per month starting Sept. 13, 2010
(exact dates to be agreed by the group)
Where: On a telephone conference line (US long distance call rates may apply) or by Skype
Price: 4 monthly installments of HK$1450        (Total HK$5800 approx. US$745, SG$1020)

HK$1450/month for 4 months

Not sure if this will work for you? Try a sample session.

Group Coaching Telephone/Skype Sample Session
When: Aug 24, 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm
Where: On a telephone conference line (US long distance call rates may apply) or by Skype

HK$800

The world needs demonstration more than it needs teaching.
~ Wallace D. Wattles from The Science of Being Great

Another key to being an excellent coach is to receive great coaching. It’s time that coaches in Hong Kong had the chance to both witness and receive coaching with their peers. Starting in July 2010, I will offer some sample group coaching programs for coaches so that you can:

1. get coaching on all aspects of your coaching practice
2. watch and learn from others receiving coaching
3. benefit from high quality coaching at reasonable rates
4. be immersed in shared learning and development with a small group of coaches

If enough people sign-up and like this format, then I will run a series of sessions so that small groups of coaches can come together for a longer period of support. I wonder how many of you will like this format? Will you give it a try?

How will group coaching help me build my coaching practice? These sessions will help you in three ways:

1. By becoming a more masterful coach through observing masterful coaching,  you’ll attract higher quality clients, retain your clients longer, get more referrals and stronger testimonials.
2. You’ll set goals for your coaching practice and start taking steps to achieve those goals. With the group’s support, you’ll be able to reach your goals more effectively than you would on your own.
3. By experiencing high quality coaching, you’ll find more ways to use coaching in all parts of your life.
4. There is no better way to convince your clients of the value of coaching than through your own investment in coaching.

Why is Angela Spaxman the right coach to lead this group?

• I am one of very few coaches in Hong Kong with more than 10 years of full time experience in both corporate and personal coaching. I have more than 2500 hours of coaching experience.

• I am passionate about coaching and committed to the expansion of coaching worldwide into all aspects of society for the benefit of all as demonstrated by more than 9 years of volunteer leadership service with the Hong Kong International Coaching Community and the International Association of Coaching. I want to support new coaches to make an impact in their communities.

• I am experienced in coaching coaches. I’ve coached more than 30 individual coaches.

• I am well grounded in coaching groups. (In the early 2000′s, I used to run a group coaching series called the Personal Foundation Program. I’ve used group coaching methods in my coach training programs with HKU since 2005 and in numerous corporate training programs.)

From Pandora Woo, participant on July 8: “During the session, each participant took turns to be coached by Angela, while others observed the process as spectators. We got the benefit of being coached, which is learning more about ourselves through the issues that we have chosen to discuss.  At the same time, through observing Angela coaching other participants, we learned about coaching skills in practice, and not only that, we also gained an expanded vision by listening to others’ issues and how each participant comes up with their own realization.  The process is most inspiring.”

Requirements: Participants must have completed a coach training course and must be managers using a coach approach, coaches-in-training or professional coaches. Minimum 3 and maximum 5 participants.

Fees: HK$1500 per live in-person session or HK$800 per conference call session

Choose one or more of these live in-person meetings:

Group Coaching Sample Session 1 –FULL
6:00pm to 7:30pm, Thursday July 8

Group Coaching Sample Session 2
7:00pm to 8:30pm, Wednesday July 14

Group Coaching Sample Session 3
12:30pm to 2:00pm, Monday July 19

For those who prefer the convenience and value of telephone coaching, choose a teleconference session:

Group Coaching Sample Session 5
11:00am to 12:30pm Tuesday July 20
On a telephone conference call

If you’re keen, but these times don’t work for you, please let me know!

Do you have a small group of friends who would like to be coached together? Let me know and we’ll come up with a special deal.

It will be great fun to work with a small group of coaches to see every one of you bringing more quality coaching services into the world. Great things happen when coaches get together!

The tiger represents courage, power and passion. Which of those will drive your life this year?

I took a break from writing this blog over the last few months, mainly because I’ve been focused on a bigger project related to coaching and its value to the world. You may guess (correctly) that this has something to do with the International Association of Coaching where I was the President for the last two years. I’ll be writing more about this in the coming few months.

I’ve been interacting instead through my Facebook Fan page. I really love that format …Every day I am learning something related to career fulfillment, success and leadership, and sharing it with hundreds of friends. It’s so easy to learn and interact regularly, efficiently and impactfully. At least I think so! Have you visited yet?

Back to the tiger, I wholeheartedly wish that you and I will know our passions with empowering clarity such that we have the courage to follow-through with gusto in 2010.

For some reason I had a copy of a huge, thick Anthony Robbins book. With nothing to lose I followed one of the simple NLP processes to eliminate my feelings of shame and self-loathing. With the snap of my fingers the bad feelings disappeared! I was shocked and thankful.

For the first time I had an inkling of how my thoughts could create and discreate my feelings. And I also realized that mistakes are not THAT bad.

Fast forward 20 years and I’ve now learned many more techniques to manage my feelings. Along this road, mistakes have gradually become something I value.

In a seminar with Denpo Roshi on the Big Mind Process, we discussed the personality within all of us that we call ‘stupid’. And I realized that being stupid was something I used to avoid at all costs which has now become a highly valuable and even enjoyable role.

When I’m stupid I can ask all kinds of questions that I would otherwise not be able to ask. This is very valuable when you are operating in a foreign culture where some aspects of the way things are done are a complete mystery. In a child-like ‘stupid’ way, I can make terrible mistakes that would be highly embarrassing to someone proud, but are only shared jokes or new opportunities for mutual understanding. Sometimes my mistakes create special moments of rapport because other people accept me more easily when they realize I can laugh at myself. Mistakes are also excellent memory enhancers. A surefire way to remember the tone of a Cantonese word is to say it wrong and invoke a reaction of shock or horror. I always remember the time I got a packet of sugar with my rice instead of the soup I was expecting. (Tong vs tong!)

Yes, making mistakes is fun and useful as long as you have the right attitude. There are 4 keys to loving your mistakes.

1) Handle the automatic negative emotional reactions that are programmed into you. This is personal development 101, and there are many easy and excellent ways to do this.

2) Allow your hidden mistake-maker to come out and play. Discover that lovable child inside you who plays freely, is curious, experiments, learns, and is adored for all the mistakes he/she makes.

3) Practice making mistakes, especially small mistakes. Do something new, where you don’t know the answers. Enjoy any emotional jolts you experience as you make mistakes and realize you’re creating memories and laughter.

Big mistakes, and I mean really big ones where people get hurt, are of course deeper issues to handle. Build your mistake-making muscles on the small ones so that in case you make a really big mistake one day, you’ll be able to save yourself from suffering over the mistake and focus your energy on handling the outcome.

4) Expand your perspective. Even our most tragic mistakes are opportunities for growth, for us and for future generations.

To stop running late, the first thing is to understand what motivates you to run late. When you're late, there is always a reason. Bad habits often continue when you're not aware of the real reasons behind them.

For example, years ago I used to find myself running late for business networking meetings. At the last minute before heading out to the meeting I would always start fussing around with my make-up or clothes because I was not confident about the way I looked. Once I realized that's what I was consistently doing, I could ponder the reason openly with myself. I stopped denying the true root cause of the problem. It was a vicious cycle because being late also made me feel less confident in myself. Spending time at the last minute to worry about my image was not helping.

My coach helped me reflect honestly on my own behaviour. Once I realized what I was doing, I could work directly on feeling more confident about my image and make a more conscious decision to be on time.

Some of the common reasons people are habitually late are:

• fear they will make a mistake
• fear they will look bad
• fear of being judged
• fear of interacting with strangers/colleagues/seniors etc.
• wanting to seem busy or important
• wanting to attract attention

It's useful to remember that when you are late, there is always a reason. Once you uncover the reason and endorse it, it's possible to take steps consciously to resolve it.

Step 2: Create New Habits

If you have been running late habitually, you'll need to create some brand new habits to replace the old ones that aren't working. You'll have to do things differently enough that you don't accidentally fall into the same old traps.

To find the best new habits, start by looking at your whole scheduling process including your diary, calendar, to do list, reminder systems, time-telling systems, support environment and thinking habits. What's missing in the system? What isn't working?

Here are some simple examples of changes you can make that target specific problems in your scheduling systems.

• Schedule longer buffer times between appointments;
• Plan to arrive 5 minutes early and use any extra time on arrival to calm yourself and clear your mind;
• Get a new “to do list” system that is a) more portable, b) more comprehensive, c) more attractive, d) sets priorities, e) whatever else specifically works for you;
• Change the location of your lists and reminders;
• Sort your lists differently so that the priorities are clearer;
• Get a new watch or clock that attracts your attention or is more pleasing;
• Use computer or telephone features to create visual or audio reminders;
• Change your work so that you don't need to attend meetings that don't thrill you.

Remember that you can enlist other people into your changes. Think about ways that your colleagues, family and friends can help. Afterall, they will probably benefit from you being on time. Here are some ideas of how this could work.

• Ask a friend to accompany you to appointments that make you nervous;
• Have a friend or colleague perk up your confidence before your meetings;
• Ask your assistant to remind you earlier for meetings;
• Delegate meetings that you prefer not to attend;
• Arrange for the attention or recognition you desire by setting better boundaries in your life.

Step 3: Implement the Changes

Implement the changes and be sure to assess their effectiveness. Often
the new system you have designed will not work exactly as planned.
Reflect and readjust until the system works. It's very helpful to use
the support of a coach during this process. A coach can help you
reflect on what you're doing, provide different ideas, encouragement
and keep you accountable.

Do you run late? Is being late a symptom of an unresolved fear or unmet need that you are now ready to resolve? Would being on time have multiple benefits in your life?

If yes, then I encourage you to call me. I'll be pleased to help you understand how I can support you in this process of being on time.

Angela Spaxman
Tel: +852 8103-7326 in Hong Kong
angela (at) loving-your-work.com

But because spiritual
words tend to be emotionally loaded and misunderstood, it is easy
to create resistance or scare clients off with our talk of spiritual
things.

In September 2009, I held a meeting (through the Hong Kong International Coaching Community) with 14 coaches of different backgrounds and levels of experience to share examples of the successes
we have had with helping clients find their own value in using
spiritual concepts and practices. As a result, I have compiled a list of
approaches for bringing spiritual things, in the broadest possible sense, into coaching relationships. These are simply ideas, in no particular order, that can be tailored for use by a variety of coaches according to their clients' preferences.

• Listen for what makes meaning for your clients and point it out to them.
• Use the same words your clients use to explain spiritual concepts. Even the word 'spiritual' can be negatively charged.
• Ask “do you have any spiritual practice?”
• Fully accept and endorse your client's current thinking and relationship to spiritual things, even if it is very different from your own. This may require you to expand your own perspective to be able to see the value in other mindsets.
• Use silence to help your clients tap into their deeper thoughts. Then ask, “what is your heart telling you?”
• Encourage your clients to be helpful or of service to others. Helping brings joy.
• Encourage your clients to find their passion. It is a route to finding meaning and connecting with a bigger purpose.
• Ask 'why is this important to you?' or 'what is important to you about life?'
• Ask 'who will you become …?'
• Create a safe space by being open, accepting and ensuring confidentiality. 
• Be willing to witness your client's pain, joy and changes. Stay with them without being drawn into the emotions.
• Use your client's upsets or challenges as opportunities to breakthrough to new ways of thinking and being.
• Point out the benefits of spiritual practices as your clients experience them.
• Learn to share your own understanding in words that are inclusive and understandable by many different kinds of people.
• Translate your spiritual practices into practical steps that relate to practical goals so that your clients can clearly see the benefits and try it for themselves.
• Expand your own spiritual practices to gain deeper and wider understanding.

In what other ways do you share your most esoteric learnings with your clients?

Machines are already smarter than us in many ways. They do math and trivia much better than us. The chess champion Garry Kasparov was beaten by Deep Blue. Machines spell, fix grammar, drive trains, translate, draw, calculate, sew, create art and fly much better than humans. Machines are learning very quickly to distinguish (fingerprints, irises) and relate (robots, computerized voices).

How long can we stay ahead of them? We're doing everything we can to help them overtake us!

But anyway, we're in charge, right? Like when you really want to relax and unwind, you can always turn off your Blackberry, right? And you don't suffer withdrawal when your internet connection goes down. And you've never experienced joint soreness from overuse of an electronic device, right?

You can stay alive without technology, can't you? Hmmm.

We are in charge, but just barely.

How many basic brain functions are we losing? Long division went out with my generation. Communicating face-to-face is disappearing with the current one. What are we going to use that extra brain space for?

Are there any ultimate human abilities that will keep us safe from our own inventions? Our experiences with the rapid development of technology in our lifetimes should give us some clues. There are only two crucial abilities that I can pinpoint:
1) discipline …which is only useful when you are holding to
2) purpose.

Will machines ever become so smart that they will be able to figure out why we are here?

I'm letting the words flow more freely than usual this month and I've included a bit a creative writing with my personal vision. I would be thrilled to know if you find this inspiring.

I've been posting regularly on the Loving Your Work Facebook Page which is now entertaining more than 150 fans with tips, quotes, links, articles and sharing about all aspects of loving what you do. If you'd like to join this growing community, please drop by or become a fan.

My friend Cecilia Yeung is putting together a fantastic event for anyone keen to advance in their career through  marketing, branding and positioning. This is a real deal, so if you've an interest in this area, don't miss it.

Cheers,
Angela

Discover and Magnify Your Unique Brand in a Competitive and Challenging Job Market
–Career Advancement Seminar–

Four speakers (including me) will give advice and insight into how to market, brand and position yourself competitively and secure the job/career of your dreams. This event is just packed with value, starting with an open house to network with participants and the speakers, then an hour-long seminar followed by Q&A and lucky draw prizes!

When: 6:30pm to 9:00pm, Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Where: 35/F Central Plaza, 18 Harbour Road, Wanchai, Hong Kong
Cost: HK$110 for Open House, Seminar & Career Development Bonuses
Optional: HK$380 for 10-page Career Assessment & Options Report

Click here for more info and to register.

EnlightenNext Magazine Contest

Are you interested in spirituality, science and human evolution? Do you wonder what the world's best thinkers envision for humanity's future?  If so, this is the magazine for you. Your subscription provides hours of fascinating (and comfortable, on paper) reading as well as supporting an important thought community. It's my favorite magazine.

I've got an extra copy of the summer issue to give away. I will mail it to the first person who emails me the 4-word tag line for the magazine and their mailing address (anywhere in the world!). Good luck!

Many women want to lead and make a mark on the world; leave a legacy in business, government or other organizations. And many have tremendous capability to do so. Indeed capable and motivated leaders are sorely needed. But those same women are often torn between their natural desires and capabilities and the competitive demands for individual achievement in corporations. They face dilemmas that force them to confront their roles as women.

The first dilemma is that they find they have to learn to act more like men if they are to succeed. But at the same time their attempts to act with masculine power are often not well-accepted. They are labeled as bitches. They are side-lined like tokens. There’s a sense that they are not authentic and cannot be fully trusted.

Another dilemma is that in becoming the leaders that the business
environment calls for, they can’t maintain satisfying family lives. They are forced to put their families second to work demands, against their natural tendencies to put family first. They frequently settle for more junior roles than they are capable of, in order to retain the flexibility they want for their families.

Thirdly, business women often struggle in personal relationships because they have learned to embrace the masculine qualities that society values (self-sufficiency, competition, rationality, single-focus etc.), and have not learned to value and express the feminine qualities that strong lifetime relationships require and that sexual and love attraction on built on, in combination with male characteristics.

Women are either too feminine for business, or
too masculine for life. What to do?!

To put this situation in context, it is a very new phenomenon. In most cases, our mothers, and certainly our grandmothers, did not have the choice to serve as organizational leaders. It is only in the past 50 years that average women in progressive countries have gained the right to take leadership roles at all. The years leading up to this change were fought by suffragettes and others demanding women’s rights. Many pioneering female leaders in the past two decades have been learning how to fit in and thrive. They have taken the initial steps but we still see very few models for women to follow regarding how to successfully express our femininity while succeeding both as leaders and in life. 

We’ve now reached a third phase of feminism where women must increase their influence to form a new way of working that values and uses both male and female qualities to greatest advantage.

I summarize the 3 phases of feminism thus:

In the 20th century and continuing now in many developing countries, women are fighting for the right to be educated, to fully participate in society and to lead according to their abilities and preferences.

2) Fitting in to a world built by men

As women enter traditionally male-dominated segments of the workforce, they must learn to adapt to the male way of behaving and to male expectations, in order to gain the respect of their (mostly male) colleagues. Women’s ways of doing things are naturally subjugated as it is not clear how they are relevant in the organizational models that have been built by men.

3) Forming a new way of working for both men and women

As women become better established as leaders, and as dissatisfaction with the status quo becomes more evident, women and men have the opportunity to renegotiate and reinvent their ways of working in order to unleash the maximum benefit from both male and female tendencies.

This trend is happening alongside changing demands in modern organizations. As businesses become more service-oriented, more complex and more global, there’s greater focus on creativity, diversity and the development of human potential. This means there is more need for the feminine qualities of intuition, relating, nurturing and multi-tasking.

And in our personal lives, family formation and child care is changing radically, often through huge efforts and great expense to women. Although women, driven by the promise of fulfillment, have been leading this charge, men are also affected and in some cases are willing to make radical changes to their roles in order to create a new balance.

Of course, I’m not saying that only men or only women can have the respective male or female qualities. Quite the contrary, as when all these qualities are valued, individuals are free to express the traits that come most naturally to them within a diverse working culture.

The good news is that women leaders are on the forefront in creating a massive shift in the way the world works. We have the opportunity to promote female values in a world that sorely needs to reassess and redesign businesses and governments. The values of scientific rationalism, competition and individual achievement have served the world very well in the past century, and are ready to be rebalanced. The challenges we face now, from the financial crisis, to climate change, to unresolved problems of poverty and social inequality, need a stronger dose of feminine power to resolve them. This is part of our inevitable evolution towards an integral worldview where we can value all the existing worldviews: female/male, east/west, collective/individual, to create the ideal solutions for our place and time.

The challenge is that there are no models to follow. We cannot copy the models of business and society that have been created so far. The male models of business leadership are not sufficient and the existing female archetypes cannot serve our needs. We will not be going back in time. The only way forward is to tap into our own wisdom and creativity to form something brand new.