Archive for the ‘About Coaching’ category

How to Talk About Spirituality with your Coaching Clients

October 20th, 2009

As we gain more experience and skill in the practice of coaching, we naturally find many ways that spiritual practices
help us achieve our goals. By spiritual practices I mean methods and beliefs relating to the nature of reality and different mind and energy states.  For anyone who is continually investigating self-improvement, spiritual practices of some variety will eventually be revealed as extremely useful. Therefore it is natural that we want to
share those practices with our clients.

But because spiritual
words tend to be emotionally loaded and misunderstood, it is easy
to create resistance or scare clients off with our talk of spiritual
things.

In September 2009, I held a meeting (through the Hong Kong International Coaching Community) with 14 coaches of different backgrounds and levels of experience to share examples of the successes
we have had with helping clients find their own value in using
spiritual concepts and practices. As a result, I have compiled a list of
approaches for bringing spiritual things, in the broadest possible sense, into coaching relationships. These are simply ideas, in no particular order, that can be tailored for use by a variety of coaches according to their clients' preferences.

  • Listen for what makes meaning for your clients and point it out to them.
  • Use the same words your clients use to explain spiritual concepts. Even the word 'spiritual' can be negatively charged.
  • Ask “do you have any spiritual practice?”
  • Fully accept and endorse your client's current thinking and relationship to spiritual things, even if it is very different from your own. This may require you to expand your own perspective to be able to see the value in other mindsets.
  • Use silence to help your clients tap into their deeper thoughts. Then ask, “what is your heart telling you?”
  • Encourage your clients to be helpful or of service to others. Helping brings joy.
  • Encourage your clients to find their passion. It is a route to finding meaning and connecting with a bigger purpose.
  • Ask 'why is this important to you?' or 'what is important to you about life?'
  • Ask 'who will you become …?'
  • Create a safe space by being open, accepting and ensuring confidentiality. 
  • Be willing to witness your client's pain, joy and changes. Stay with them without being drawn into the emotions.
  • Use your client's upsets or challenges as opportunities to breakthrough to new ways of thinking and being.
  • Point out the benefits of spiritual practices as your clients experience them.
  • Learn to share your own understanding in words that are inclusive and understandable by many different kinds of people.
  • Translate your spiritual practices into practical steps that relate to practical goals so that your clients can clearly see the benefits and try it for themselves.
  • Expand your own spiritual practices to gain deeper and wider understanding.

In what other ways do you share your most esoteric learnings with your clients?

How to Coach When You Really Want to Give Advice

March 10th, 2009

One of the most common mistakes in coaching is giving advice rather than helping the coachee find their own answers. This is an easy mistake to make because most of us are so keen to help (and show that we are helpful) and because many coachees are used to being given advice and they expect it.

From my personal experience of coaching, observing others coaching and being coached, I am convinced that most advice-giving in coaching is nowhere near as powerful and effective as eliciting the answers from the coachee. Eliciting the answers takes more skill and it also takes deep trust in the process of coaching, to believe that it is worth taking a bit more time and to make the space for the coachee to be creative.

Recently I learned a very simple and helpful process that simplifies my job in supporting my coachees to come up with their own answers so that I don't have to give them advice. Here's how it works:

Let's say my coachee asks me something like this: “How can I … ? or “What can I do to …? My coachee is seeking an answer to some question or problem he is facing. My options in that moment are to:

1) Give an answer,
2) Ask another question that helps him think further about what the answer might be, or
3) Suggest that we brainstorm possible solutions together.

Obviously Option 1 is giving advice and not recommended.

In the past I have often used Option 2 and asked my coachee something like “What do you think you could do?” There's nothing really wrong with this question, but asking a question like this does have some risks.

If my thinking is not clear enough, I might frame the question too tightly and restrict the coachee's responses. For example I might say “What do you think you could do to discover the root causes of this problem?” when in his mind there are no answers in the root causes and this is simply a distraction from the real question. Also, there is an implication that there is one 'right' answer, and this limits creativity.

Another risk with following Option 2 is that it may seem like I am throwing the difficult question back to him and withholding my own experience, wisdom and support.

Option 3 has some clear advantages. I could start by saying, “How about if we brainstorm some possible solutions together?” Immediately I am asking permission from the coachee to follow this next step. It is a way of checking the importance of the question and keeping the coachee in control of the process. I am open to the coachee saying, “Actually, I know what I need to do.” !! But often the coachee will agree and I will say, “How about if you come up with two possible solutions, then I'll add two, and we'll carry on until we have a whole bunch?” Depending on the confidence of the coachee in this problem, I could also ask him to come up with a whole bunch of possibilities and then I'll add some more afterwards. 

A coachee is often not aware that there are any possible solutions to his problem, so he will find it encouraging to think that together we will find many. It is up to the coach to provide this confidence: essentially the trust that coaching will work and that there are always possibilities and choices in any situation.

Here are some of the other advantages of this approach:

By focusing on creating possible solutions rather than solving the problem, you temporarily stop the judgment and critical thinking that often blocks creativity. Your goal is to collect all the solutions first, and then evaluate them later. Doing this unleashes creativity and in itself will help the coachee think of things they haven't thought of before.

Coachees often mistakenly believe that the solutions coming from the coach are more valuable than those they generate themselves. You can counteract this assumption by collecting the ideas together so that they have more equal weight. It's also possible to generate contradictory ideas to make it clear that the coachee has to choose based on his own evaluation of what will work best for him.

Sometimes this process works so well that the coachee immediately comes up with an excellent
solution that he knows is perfect for him and that he is excited to implement. Other times we generate a long list and feel safe with an abundance of choices for actions to take. This is what coaching is all about: creating new ways of thinking that change people's lives.

Most people are not very experienced at being coached. This fact makes it even more important that coaches trust the coaching process and let the power of coaching reveal itself to coachees. The 'aha' moments that they experience as a result will let them realize the true power of coaching.

Talking about the International Association of Coaching

May 29th, 2008

I was interviewed for the Coachville Caffeine daily online radio show about:
- how I became a coach and then the President of the IAC
- what the IAC is all about
- my big dream for the world and for the IAC

You can listen here. My part is just over 30 minutes long.

At 27:45 I talk about my big dream for the IAC and the world: “It's about how coaching influences people and how coaching brings people forward, which is so important for our world at this point. …”

Coaching Comes to Hong Kong

September 1st, 2001

Written for China STAFF, 
September 2001

Coaches provide the ability to understand
problems, offer support and effectively communicate expert advice. Angela
Spaxman explains the development of coaching in Hong Kong
and identifies the benefits that coaching has on productivity. 

Wouldn't you like to have someone who you could
always count on to stand for your success? They would listen to you, understand
your point of view and share their honest expert opinion about your potential
and possible courses of action. They would lift your spirits when times are
tough and give you a reality check when you need to face the truth. They would
support you as you have never been supported before. You would discover ways to
improve your performance and find more fulfillment. The word 'coaching' is
showing up in human resources budgets and management training sessions all over
town. Coaching is being talked about in career counselling centers and new age
gatherings. But is everyone talking about the same thing? 

With this appeal it is no wonder that coaching has quickly become so
popular in the United States of America (US) and Europe and is now spreading to
Asia. 

The coaching
relationship 

Coach U, a US-based virtual
training institute for coaches, defines coaching as “a powerful,
collaborative relationship between a coach and a willing individual which
enables, through a process of discovery, goal setting, and strategic actions,
the realization of extraordinary results. Coaching is also a body of knowledge,
a technology, and a style of relating that focuses on the development of human
potential.” 

The definition makes clear that
coaching is a relationship and a process, not an event. It's key attributes
are: 

  • Personally relevant
  • On-going
  • Learner-focused
  • Action-oriented 

In addition there are some key philosophies
that guide the coaching process and distinguish quality coaching from training,
consulting, managing or directing. The quality coach will:

  • Listen and understand without judgment or criticism
  • Ask questions to promote self-discovery
  • Focus on the client's strengths, motivations and needs, to
    bring out their best
  • Help the client find the source of
    problems before offering solutions that might not be appropriate
  • Honour the truth by communicating all that they sense
  • Display a high level of trust and care for the client
  • Let the client take responsibility for their own results

Why Now? 

Coaching was first named as a profession in the late 1980's and has
developed steadily throughout the 1990's to be the one of the fastest growing
fields of consulting in the US. It is estimated that there are over 10,000
part-time and full-time coaches practicing worldwide. The number of people
entering this emerging field has doubled in size in each of the past three
years. 

The growth and development of coaching is
a natural outcome of the evolution of organizational wealth from physical
capital to human capital. Where human capital is critical, the most productive
investments are in staff retention and development. Communication, leadership
and creativity become more important and organizations step up the search for
methods to enhance their staff's capabilities. Individuals searching for career
advancement also strive to continuously improve. Coaching is the next step on
this pathway to provide better personal development support in both the
corporate world and among individuals who want to invest in their own
success. 

Companies in Hong Kong  and
their branches are taking part in the human capital evolution, striving to
create more value for customers through the value of people. Since the economic
downturn, competition has increased and companies are forced to be more
creative to get more from less. There is really no choice for organizations
that aspire to success but to make huge strides in their people power. So it's not
surprising that coaching is steadily becoming a buzzword for forward-looking
management development initiatives. 

Coach
Requirements 

The coach is usually an
outside person with an objective perspective who is hired by a company or an
individual for their professional skills. Their detachment from the client's
situation gives them the advantage of being able to see and tell the truth
about a situation from a different perspective. Their primary interest is to
help the client to achieve their goals. 

Managers
can also coach their own staff, just as family members and friends can coach
each other, but this type of coaching requires a strong belief by the coach
that honouring the individual's desires is the best way to meet their
organizational (or family) goals. For example, it might be difficult for a
coach manager to listen objectively when a staff member talks about
dissatisfaction with his job. Few companies or managers are sufficiently secure
to allow this kind of open discussion. Conflicts of interest can crop up unless
the top management and company philosophy supports the staff in pursuing their personal
interests. Only when staff and company needs are in alignment can morale and
productivity be maximized. For those that are ready, the benefits in people
development and productivity are evident. 

Many
companies in Hong Kong designate 'coaching' as one of the job responsibilities
of managers. However the extent to which coaching is actually carried out is
dependent on the personality of each manager and the company culture. Few
companies in Hong Kong fully capitalize on the
power of internal coaching. Most large multi-nationals that have adopted
coaching programs use specialized internal coaches in addition to
managers. 

Corporate Coaching 

Diane Wilcoxson, an executive coach who has been working in Hong Kong
for the past 15 years, maintains that coaching is merely a new word for the
one-on-one consulting that she has been doing all along. While human resources
trends come and go, she believes that coaching, by any name, will continue to
be the fastest way for organizations to implement change. She sees many more
consultants now offering coaching services, although they have varying degrees
of knowledge and experience in how to influence human behaviour. The relatively
unstructured environment in Hong Kong companies (compared to the US or Europe)
means there are many opportunities for consultants to try a hand at coaching.

 There are many offers of coaching services, and
many ideas about exactly what coaching is. Some see it as the realm of sage
advisors or mentors with vast industry specific experience. Such mentors tend
to offer advice but not coaching, as they are hired for their specific
knowledge and experience, not for their abilities in helping people understand
and change behaviour. 

Others envision the
quintessential athletic coach with a bullhorn on the sidelines making strategic
decisions, shouting orders and pushing the athletes to work harder. Some sales
force coaching may resemble this push to achieve specific short-term goals. In
hierarchical workplaces, this motivational style is more easily accepted and
understood, but it is vastly different for the kind of coaching services
discussed here. 

Ivy Ning, a corporate trainer in
teambuilding, communications and leadership skills for PeoplePlus Training and
Consulting is in the process of educating her clients about coaching. 

She says her clients are accustomed to using training to
create the kind of attitude and skill improvements that the combination of
training and coaching could achieve more effectively in the long run. However,
companies are not used to investing time and money on individual development.
And managers may still see coaching as a remedy for problem staff rather than a
development tool for themselves. 

Coaching
Managers 

Many organizations are
implementing training in coaching skills for managers. Training budget cuts may
be the impetus for companies to consider training their management staff to
coach internally as they are forced to look for more effective ways to support
change. As mentioned earlier, the success of this strategy will depend on the
commitment of upper management to trusting and empowering their staff. The most
effective way to achieve that culture shift would be for upper managers to
start developing their own attitudes with the help of coaching. 

Coaching services in Hong Kong are most well established
within branches of multi-national companies which already have significant
experience with coaching in the US or Europe. These organizations are more
likely to be using coaching strategically in line with their long-term
organizational goals. Coaches are briefed on the organization's cultural and
philosophical values so that executives and managers develop their personal
styles in ways that are most beneficial to the company. In Hong
Kong most companies are still using coaching in an ad hoc way to
support particular managers or for certain projects. When coaching is used
strategically, it is more likely to support long-term organizational
development. 

Corporate coaching is being used for
different purposes within organizations. The primary ones include:

  • Executive and senior manager development
  • Development for high-flyers and rising stars
  • Remedial behavioural changes for executives and senior
    managers
  • 360 Degree Feedback Assessment results delivery
    and implementation
  • Team work development for project
    teams 

Some other developing uses for
corporate coaching include:

  • Workplace change
    implementation
  • Coaching skills development for managers
  • Group coaching for communication and teamwork skills
    development
  • Group coaching for inter-developmental groups
    such as non-competing executives, marketing managers etc. 

Personal Coaching 

As more people hang out their shingle as coaches, coaching is becoming
an accessible alternative for individuals who want to achieve various personal
goals from career transitions, to relationship changes, to spiritual
development. Many Hong Kong career-focused
people were caught off guard by the relatively sudden tightening of the job
market since 1997 and are now seeking ways to enhance their careers. The usual
solution of continuing education upgrades is expensive and not as effective for
improving the key job skills that get people hired and promoted –
communications and leadership skills. But with only a hand full of coaches
working in Hong Kong, and even fewer with Cantonese language skills, the
widespread discovery of coaching for individual development is likely to take a
few more years. 

The graduation in August this
year of 18 Hong Kong based coaches from Coach U will certainly make a
difference to the availability of personal coaches. The graduates will be
offering services based on their background and experience ranging from
executive coaching to youth coaching. Personal coaching is also offered through
some out-placement firms, counselling centres and therapists. Some coaches in
North America are now marketing their services in Hong Kong to take advantage
of cheap long-distance telephone rates and ready demand. 

One of the largest growth areas for personal coaching could be
business coaches hired by entrepreneurs, professionals, small business owners,
or career corporate employees who are looking for ways to work smarter instead
of harder, to make more money more easily, to find more fulfillment in their
work or to create more balance in their lives. Making time for your life seems
so counter to the typical rushed Hong Kong
life, where money is central to lifestyle improvement and everybody wants more
of it. But for this city is to stay ahead in the developing world economy,
companies need creative employees who can take initiative, take risks and think
out of the box. Those people can only maximize their potential for creativity
when they are healthy and leading balanced fulfilling lives.

Coaching Benefits 

Corporate
training methods are continuously improving to include experiential training,
accelerated learning, Neuro-linguistic Programming and many other specialized
techniques. While training can be effective in building teamwork capabilities,
communication and leadership skills, lasting personal breakthroughs are rare.
Often the sources of behavioural weaknesses are too personal to be broached in
group activities, particularly when senior staff are involved. In addition, it
takes time and persistent focus to make behavioural changes. One-off training
workshops are not sufficient to inspire participants to implement changes in
their working environment where new barriers and stresses are faced daily.

 Coaching offers a convenient, relatively
cost-effective way to support behavioural changes or complex decision-making
processes that have the potential to create tremendous value for organizations,
as well as the individuals involved. Two recent studies bear this out. 1) An
article in Public Personnel Management (Winter 97, Vol. 26 Issue 4, p. 461,
published by the International Personnel Management Association) revealed a
study where training alone was compared to coaching combined with training. The
study showed that training alone increased productivity by 22.4% while training
plus coaching increased productivity by 88%. 2) A study in the Manchester
Review (2001, Vol. 6, No. 1) on executive coaching showed that companies that
invested in executive coaching received an average return on investment of more
that 5 times. 

According to Wilcoxson, the
greatest benefit to clients and organizations is the chance to hear the truth
told. Her outside perspective allows her to identify sources of problems,
trends or patterns that insiders cannot see, and to describe them in ways that
they can accept. The degree to which organizations benefit depends on the
sphere of influence of the coached individuals. In other words it pays to start
at the top. 

From her experience with group
coaching for sales force development, Ning reports a burning desire by staff to
talk in private about organizational politics with someone neutral who can
advise them in how to handle those common complications of corporate life. In
medium to large size companies, political issues often consume more of people's
energy than getting the job done. Coaching helps people learn to deal with
difficult people and to create win-win working relationships so that they can
use their time and energy for productive purposes. 

Business coaching clients report greater confidence, enhanced
self-awareness, more effectiveness in communications, greater focus on results
and improved relationships which all lead to more productivity. The benefits
achieved depend on the skill of the coach, but even more on the willingness of
the individual being coached. When people are motivated to change and ready to
take action, their coach can be the catalyst to move them towards their
goals. 

Where Are We Headed? 

According to Corporate Coach U International, a corporate-focused
coach training institution, “Corporate coaching is central to a cultural
evolution process that shifts the landscape of the workplace from one where
people receive direction from others to one where people commit to doing things
they care passionately about.” In Hong Kong
this process is being driven by both competitive demands and individual
aspirations. Some Hong Kong corporate groups, led by the branch offices of
multi-national companies, and followed by private corporate entities with
forward-thinking leaders, are on this path. Many of Hong
Kong's well-educated worldly, ambitious professionals are choosing
to work in such environments. The vast majority of companies and individuals
are not involved. This evolution is happening, but unevenly. The further
development of both corporate and personal coaching in Hong Kong will speed the
process and is an important element in Hong Kong's
continuing competitive advantage.

What is Coaching?

December 1st, 2000

Coaching is a new approach to
personal development. Coaches: 

  • Help
    people set better goals and then reach those goals. 
  • Help their clients to focus better so as to produce results more
    quickly. 
  • Ask their clients to do more than they
    would have done on their own. 
  • Provide clients
    with the tools, support and structure to accomplish more. 

What is the basic philosophy of coaching?

The
coaching philosophy is that humans are very intelligent, adaptable and
productive and we all have the potential to get what we want in life without
having to pay a high personal or financial cost for it. Throughout our lives we
are discovering what we really want, and we are constantly making choices about
how to live. 

We can get what we want faster when
we have the unconditional support of a Coach to help us discover and implement
our desires.

How is coaching different from…

Training? Like some training, coaching
provides a chance to reflect on your experiences and gain new insights. However
there are some major differences. A Coach does not bring an agenda but follows
the interests and desires of the client. Materials and information play only a
minor part in coaching. Coaching relies on very high levels of trust between
the coach and the client. As a result, the learning is much deeper than most
training and much more personal issues can be addressed and changed. 

Another major difference is that coaching focuses on
implementation more than just learning or theory. Coaching is delivered over a
period of months. Learning that occurs is based on the clients' own experiences
and is immediately integrated into the clients' real lives. The client makes
changes, learns from the results and continues to learn and change step-by-step
with the continuous support of the coach.

Consulting?
Coaching is rather like consulting except that it tends to be much more
people-oriented rather than information-oriented. A coach does not act as an
expert in the client's business. Also, a coach stays with the client to help
implement the new skills, changes and goals, to make sure that they really happen.

Mentoring? Mentoring comes from a long
tradition in which a mentor shares with their mentee “everything they
know”. Although this is a very valuable role, the learning that results
depends completely on the knowledge and experience of the mentor. With the
rapid change occurring in the world and in businesses, learning from our
seniors is no longer enough. People need to discover new ways of doing things
in a world where so much is new. Rather than teaching, as a mentor would, a
coach is trained to support others in their own discovery. In fact studies have
shown that vast relevant knowledge on the part of a coach can often limit how
well they can support a coachee, as they assume they know the best way of doing
things, rather than playing in the field of possibilities. What can be learned
with the support of a coach is unlimited.

Therapy?
Coaching is not therapy. Coaches don't delve deeply into past
problems or work on deeply held internal barriers. Coaching is not for people
with psychological problems such as depression or extreme stress. Coaching is
for people who are already successful who want to create extraordinary
results. 

Sports? Like sports
coaching, professional coaching provides encouragement, support and guidance
from a coach with a broader perspective of the 'game'. Professional coaches
also use goal-setting and performance assessments to improve results. Coaches
focus on strengthening their clients' skills, but not usually on helping them
beat the other team in a win/lose scenario. Coaches look for win/win solutions.

Best friend? A best friend is wonderful
to have. But your best friend is not always the best person to work with you on
developing the most important aspects of your work and life. A coach is always
working for the client and maintains that perspective. A coach is also
experienced in drawing out the best in people, while letting them make their
own decisions as suits them best. In contrast, a friend will
expect you to reciprocate in supporting them; a friend may have a perspective
very similar to yours; a friend may not want you to change
too much and a friend may not push you the way your coach
can. 

What happens when you hire a coach?

  • You take yourself more seriously. 
  • You take more effective and focused actions immediately. 
  • You stop putting up with what is dragging you down. 
  • You create momentum so that it's easier to get results. 
  • You set better goals that are more exactly what you
    want. 

Where does the coach focus with
an average client?

Coaches focus where their clients need
them the most. Their discussions often include:

  • Helping
    the client set goals based on individual personal values 
  • Helping the client understand their current situation and current results more
    clearly 
  • Developing strategies to move towards
    personal or business goals 
  • Helping the client to
    strengthen their personal foundation so that they have fewer problems and more
    energy 

Does the coach work on
personal goals or business/professional goals?

Both,
actually. The line between personal and business life is very blurred,
especially in a fast-paced competitive city like Hong Kong.
The coach is trained to work with all aspects of you and to handle issues holistically.

What happens during a coaching session?

What happens is up to you and your coach to design and
sometimes you just play it by ear. Typically the client will choose a current
problem or opportunity to focus on during the session. 

The coach will first of all listen really well to the
client's explanation of the situation. Most people find that speaking with
someone who listens well brings out their best and helps them to get
clarity. 

Next, the coach will ask some questions
to find different perspectives and help the client discover the sources of the
issue. Together they uncover insights into the whole situation, the symptoms
and possible solutions. 

As necessary, the coach
will share their own perspectives and suggestions, and offer encouragement,
reassurance, support or challenge. The whole process is generally light and
positive. By the end of the session you will likely have crafted a strategy or
decided upon a course of action.

Why does coaching
work?

  • The coach provides a different
    perspective to help the client understand themselves and their situation more
    clearly. 
  • The client sets better goals based on
    what they want rather than what they “should” do. These goals
    naturally pull the client toward the goal instead of requiring the client to
    push themselves to the goal. 
  • The client develops
    new skills, and these skills translate into more success. 

What does the coach provide to the client? click
here

What are the benefits of coaching? click here