So what do you want in life?
Really, what do you want? More money? Security? Happiness? A husband? If you
don't know what you want, what would be ideal even if it is impossible? What
have you dreamt of doing or who would you love to be.
The
system I'm going to explain to you now can be used to get absolutely anything
you want. Of course it won't produce instant results, but it will start moving
you forward, step by step. It was developed by the coaches and students at Coach University
to support their clients in moving towards their goals.
The
system is very simple. Every week, you take a few minutes to reflect on your
week using these five questions.
-
What
did I accomplish? -
What did I
intend to do but didn't do? -
What
were the challenges? -
What
are the opportunities? -
What
do I want to work on?
The
system of regularly reflecting is like an evaluation in Toastmasters except
that it is a self-evaluation. It is not about a speech but about your real life.
The system works because no matter what you want in life, you must learn how to
get it. Whether you want a Driver's License or career fulfillment, you must
learn. And the first step in learning anything is to reflect on what you have
done in the past, what has worked and what you could have done differently.
When you reflect regularly, you give yourself the chance to learn regularly
from everything you do.
One of the most powerful
benefits of the system of weekly reflection is that you will begin to notice
and avoid those mistakes that you make repeatedly in your life. We all repeat
our mistakes. For example, have you noticed that when you argue with your
spouse, the argument usually starts in the same way? Have you noticed that when
you procrastinate, it is actually predictable and there is a pattern to what
causes your procrastination? Have you noticed that when you are frustrated at
work, there are common causes that are repeated time and again? If you were to
reflect on these issues, what could you discover about how to prevent those
patterns from recurring? Regular reflection is the way to solve these issues
and move on to new challenges.
Let me give you a
personal example of how this system has benefited me, particularly focusing on
Question Number 2, my favorite: What did I intend to do but didn't do? What I
really want in life is to have a successful coaching business. I know in order
to do that I have to have plenty of energy and be a model of healthy living for
my clients. Therefore I have started a regular exercise program including running
twice a week.
Last week I intended to go for a run
on Friday morning…but I didn't. Why? I was out with some friends the night
before, I drank some wine and then was just too tired to get out of bed in the
morning. Does that sound familiar? On reflecting I realized that I drank the
wine only because I wanted to fit in with my friends. I worried about how it
would look to refuse. How silly! Next time I won't need to do that and I'll get
the morning run that I want. Each time I reflect I have a chance to learn
something new about how to motivate myself to ensure that I get what I
want.
Will this system work for you?
“It sounds great but I'm so busy these days I just don't have the
time.”
Yes, but have you thought about how
much time you are wasting by repeating self-destructive patterns. For only a
small investment in time you can save tremendously in time and
effort.
“But even if I make the time, I don't
have enough discipline.”
Please don't use
self-discipline to make yourself reflect. It won't work. Instead build up your
interest in reflection. Think how interesting it would be to pay attention to
your life. What a wonderful soap opera it is for you to watch every week. You
can use your strongest desires to motivate you to reflect regularly.
“I can't stand any more paperwork.”
Be
creative when you reflect. You can draw a picture, listen to music or talk to a
friend. Make it a very enjoyable part of your week.
“What
if I forget?”
Mark it in your diary, make an
appointment with yourself, or do it at a regular time that you will remember
such as just before church or after your Toastmasters meeting.
“But I've never done this before. I don't know
how.”
As you start to do it you will learn.
Get help from your friends, or if you really want to progress quickly, hire a
coach.
This system can create great benefits for
you as it has for me. I've been reflecting on these questions regularly for the
past 5 months and have gained a deeper awareness of myself. I'm more honest
with myself, more self-confident and I feel more in control of my life. I've
accomplished much including starting a new career which I love, incorporating
my own company, receiving an independent work visa and even exercising more
regularly.
Whatever you want in life is waiting
for you. Right now you might not even know what you want, or what you need to
learn. What are you waiting for? Every week so many chances to grow are passing
you by and wasted. Your life is going on without you being aware of it. Your
accomplishments, errors and opportunities are forgotten. So, make a date with
yourself now.
Will you do it?
